A couple weeks ago I returned to the dermatologist's office where all this began. Four months ago I had walked in as a better-than-average healthy woman to get an "annoying" mole removed without the least bit of worry or concern. I remember they had called me to come in earlier than expected to get the results of the biopsy. Even if it was some type of cancer I never thought it would be life-threatening. As I sat in the chair waiting for the news I whispered the prayer, "Whatever this is, whatever they say, I know that You and I can handle this together." But when the news came, the sweet peace of trust in my God vanished and panic set in. I remember sitting there in total shock, my mouth went completely dry. I couldn't move. All I could think of was telling Jeremy and my kids that I was going to die.
Now, I went in to that same office as a cancer patient having undergone two surgeries, too many scans and blood draws to count, one dose of a crazy drug, radiation on the upcoming schedule and a newly developed education of cancer. What a difference four months makes.
I couldn't help but remember the last time I was there. Retracing the steps of the day my whole life took a dramatic turn. This time, sitting in that same chair, I stared at that same wall and prayed, "Thank you, Jesus, for being with me during these past months. I am so glad we have been through this together. You have never left me, nor forsaken me. You have given me good gifts time and time again. I trust you more today than I did four months ago. I wouldn't trade this experience for the world." What a difference four months makes.
I am grateful for all the things I have learned about myself, my faith and my God in these past four months.
I write this today to remember.
No comments:
Post a Comment